This may very well be the most difficult task a parent has while going through a divorce and putting their children’s needs ahead of their own. This requires divorcing parents to be honest with themselves about their motivations and their life expectations post-divorce.
If one parent has primarily stayed at home raising the children, then being forced to co-parent could be a loss to their identity. “The kids need to be with me more because that’s how it’s always been…,” is a common plea. Ironically, the divorce sometimes creates the opposite effect and forces the other parent to become more involved and take on more parenting responsibilities.
On the other hand, a parent who travels weekly for work needs be realistic when they request 50 per cent parenting time. For both parents, being honest with themselves and understanding both their strengths and limitations is the key to this process.
Divorce creates major life adjustments, but if handled properly, can still foster a positive environment for children long term. One of the best predictors of a child doing well post-divorce is for them to have a positive relationship with both parents.
This whole process can be extremely difficult and it’s ok to seek assistance through a therapist who specializes in divorce. Being in therapy during the divorce process can help you sort through painful emotions (so your children don’t have to be your support system – you need to be theirs!) and make decisions that are good for your children, their future, and your future too.
A child specialist in divorce can ensure that your children’s needs remain front and center during this process.
Divorce means huge changes in the lives of children. It can also mean direct involvement in conflict between parents, changes in where they live, economic hardship, broken bonds with a parent, loss of emotional security and a multitude of emotional stressors.
Parents can lessen the negative effects of divorce on their children if they can follow recommendations like these above. While the legal process of divorce has its own cross to bear apart from children’s needs, not losing focus and putting them first during this process will create the best possible environment for them moving forward.